How do you make the hardest decision of your life knowing that either way will lead to heartbreak. If you go down one path you will willingly break your own heart but if you go down the other what’s broken will break again because it will be you admitting there really is no hope. I try everyday to celebrate the life I have and be grateful for my blessings but I still mourn what I lost. I grieve for what never will be and wonder what is the point of replacing a fantasy come to life with a facade. If I feel broken and hollow what do I really have to offer someone and is it fair to accept from them what I’m not sure I can wholeheartedly return? The only thing I am certain of is I don’t want this. This life, this place, these things. I feel like I’m surrounded by ghosts and lies. I want to be somewhere else, do something new, be someone different. I want a life filled with love and happiness, dreams and hopes. A life of possibilities. I just have to decide what way to go to find that. I have to let go of my past and move forward and to do that I need to truly figure out what my priorities are. I need to figure out exactly which dreams I can make realities and which ones are just going to bring me more pain. I need to stop holding on to phantoms and start looking for the truth in my life.
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