I am in hell right now. I ran out of my medication and am trying to get it refilled but for some reason I’m having problems getting it done this month. The pharmacy faxed my Dr and I called but neither of us have yet to receive a response. It’s only been a couple days since I ran out and already the withdrawal effects are agonizing and I’m terrified of what it’s going to get like if I can’t get these refills soon. Roger, my Dr, had warned me that I needed to be extremely careful not to abruptly stop the Lamictal because of how severe it would be. He warned me of horrific headaches, seizures, and a chance of death. Well no seizures and I’m still breathing but the headaches are excruciating. He also told me that people experience an increase in suicidal thoughts but I think truthfully it’s just that they can’t stand the pain. The other bad part is the emotions, I usually have ups and downs over the course of a day but right now I can go through more emotions than I usually do in days in a matter of fifteen minutes. I have four Xanax left but I am holding on to them until I absolutely need them. For now I’m just keeping the house as dark and cool as possible and trying to sleep until I can get my refills called in. I think yesterday I was awake a total of maybe 5 hours and that was an hour here, thirty minutes there. This drug truly is wonderful and has helped me better than anything else but I was not prepared for what would happen to me if I ran out. Just be aware that if you start this medication, you will probably have to be on it long term. The withdrawals are 100 times worse than what they explain could possibly happen so do research and read other peoples accounts of what they experienced and then decide if it is worth it for you. I feel that the benefits are worth it for me but I will do whatever it takes to never have a lapse between refills again. As I’m writing this the pain in my head is so bad that it’s making me dizzy and nauseous so I’m going to take some Tylenol PM, get in bed and hide my head under the covers and sleep. Hopefully my meds will be ready tomorrow and it will be a better day.
