Life Inside Panic

Hi all. I’m sorry it has been a little while but things have been insane. I hope you all had a good holiday. I actually had a very nice Christmas. My family drew names and we were only supposed to buy for the person we drew but I was the only person who followed that rule. I halfway wonder if they might have come up with it to make me feel better about being broke but it didn’t. I feel so guilty about not being able to buy gifts for my loved ones. I drew my grandma and she seemed to ginuinely like what I gave her; so that brightened my mood a little. I spent the whole day feeling bad that D was home alone. He has no family and no true friends so there was no one for him to spend the day with. Part of me wanted to come home so he wouldn’t have to be alone but I also didn’t want to give up another day with my family for him. So I stayed and it was a nice day. I got a lot of nice gifts including a book I have been meaning to buy for a while. The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Starby Nikki Sixx. I had wanted to read it after finishing and being so impressed by The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Bandby Motley Crue. So far it is phenomenal and I strongly recommend it. It is a year of journal entries by him at the height of his fame, addiction, and depression with commentary from people who were there with him at the time. It’s very raw and honest. You should really check out both of these if you have any interest in biographies, Motley Crue, rock music, books on addiction, or if you’re just looking for a very good read. I couldn’t put The Dirt down and ended up reading the whole thing in one night.

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So, here we are in December and I am planning for Christmas. It breaks my heart to know that the man I love has not had a traditional Romanian Christmas in almost two decades. I have decided that since last year we celebrated my way (for the most part since he refused to spend Christmas day with my family but we had Christmas Eve with them and did our thing Christmas night), we should honor his traditions this year. I have spent countless hours researching what recipes should be made but I can’t find any real information. I am hoping that a few Romanians will stumble across my little blog and give me some advice so I can make this Christmas wonderful for D. I have recipes for sarmale, bors cu perisoare, mamaliga balls, mamliga, and of course cozonac. These links seem to be the best recipes I can find as there is not a lot of information on Romanian tradition on the web. If anyone has any advice for other things I can do or prepare or better recipes than what I have found, I would be so grateful if you would help me out. I really want to make this a special year as it might be the last one we spend together if I stay when he moves back to Romania. Also if there are any cd’s of traditional Romanian Christmas music that would be helpful as well. He tells me it’s too much work and I shouldn’t bother (which from him translates to an American girl can’t handle it) and my Romanian is extremely limited (to say the least) or I would find a way to write and ask his mother. I’ll be sure to let you know how it all turns out. Please, please leave me comments on anything that might help me out. Thanks in advance.

Update:

12/13/20008

Christmas will not be going Romanian this year or any other. Given the events of the last couple of days I have come to realize that I can not stand to be around D any longer. He will be moving out before Christmas so I will be spending the holiday with my family, following our traditions. I guess all is as it should be. I still feel sorry for him that he will be alone on Christmas, but my mother keeps reminding me that he made his bed and now he gets to lie in it…alone. She is very excited that he will be moving out and I will be moving on.

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