July 23rd, 2010

I had a Dr appointment Monday and ended up having one of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had. The nurses were putting cool compresses on me to lower my body temp and the dr ordered oxygen because my color was so bad and my pulseox had dropped. My blood pressure had gone severely high. Of course I had no Xanax so it just spiraled down from there. The dr has some concerns about other conditions it might be since my anxiety is worsening when it should be improving so I had to get bloodwork and will have results shortly.

Other than that, I’ve been doing pretty good as of late. Having conversations with old friends and one in particular that makes me smile and might even be giving me a slight case of the butterflies. I’m enjoying having my sister here even if I want to kill her half the time. But I did lose Dolce, she died in her sleep, which was extremely hard for me. She was the last Valentine’s present from D before he bailed on me. D and I talked a bit last night and things seemed normal. Then he started messaging me drunk this morning; I won’t go into it but needless to say he was abnormally cruel. I don’t understand how someone who once claimed to love me could be so heartless. I guess I was a fool to have believed him to begin with. I always think every conversation with him will end with him wanting to put it all behind us and start over but I need to learn better. My life is not perfect but it is pretty ok right now. I have people that love me, a nice house that I feel safe in, a truck (that I despise but it’s free so I can’t complain lol), a couple good friends that I can count on no matter what, and T who lets me cry, whine, complain, and babble for hours on end and always manages to make me feel better. So while I might have broken down and cried all morning, feeling like a horrible person and that I deserved this all it took was a little pep talk from T for me to remember that I’m better than that. Hopefully I can remember that the next time D lets loose on me like that.

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December 2nd, 2008

I find this theory very interesting. I have a severe phobia of needles, which is odd given my profession as a nurse, but have managed to get three small tattoos that mean a lot to me. I also have nine piercings, seven in my ears (although I only wear one in each ear, remnants from my younger days), one in my tongue, and one, well only certain people know of that one. I have never felt anything but fear, pain and maybe a sense of pride for going through with it from a piercing or tattoo. I have never tried acupuncture and don’t know if I would have the nerve but I hear nothing but good things about it. If all it would take to relieve panic attacks was a properly placed piercing I believe we would have a lot of people lining up for this. I hope that further investigation reveals this to be the truth so more people can find the relief they so desperately need.

Body piercing as therapy
Surprising side effects can be good or bad, some say

By Aimee Heckel
Tuesday, December 2, 2008

It could just be a coincidence. There’s no hard evidence. But the correlation has local acupuncturists and body piercers intrigued — and baffled.

Granted, it’s only been three months. But if you’re a victim of chronic anxiety — paralyzing panic attacks several times a week, usually for no reason — three months feels like a new life. Like coming up for breath after 29 years under water.

It was September, and I had an especially rough attack. In a daze, I ended up at K&K Piercing on University Hill in Boulder. I walked in and impulsively asked the workers to pierce my chest with a vertical bar in between my breasts along the middle of my body. This was out of character; I’m not a big fan of piercings, and I didn’t know anyone with one. Maybe I thought it would be a good distraction.

It did not hurt. In fact, it felt tingly. Odd.

Several weeks later, I was at my acupuncturist. I told him about my piecing. I asked him if the rod through my chest could affect the flow of my energy, or “chi” in Eastern medicine. If sticking tiny acupuncture needles into your body can transform you, what about a more permanent puncture?

He looked at where I was pierced and smiled.

“You pieced two exact acupuncture points,” he said. “The anxiety points.”

Acupuncturists place needles there to reduce panic attacks, insomnia and anxiety. The increased blood flow and changed direction of the energy there often eliminates panic attacks, he said. I had never talked to him about my struggles with anxiety.

Which is when I realized I have not had an attack since I got the piercing.

Still haven’t.

I didn’t even know what I was doing when I got the piercing. Could I have subconsciously “fixed” myself? I consulted the experts for an answer.

More than a pretty jewel

Jeanette Barrie says maybe.

Barrie, of Boulder, is an integrative wellness counselor with a background in Ayurveda, an alternative medicine with roots in India.

Piecing the ears and nose is an extension of traditional Indian acupuncture, Barrie says — “not just for beauty, but to trigger the vital energy points in the system.”

Ayurveda tells women to piece their left nostrils with a gold post. That is supposed to ease childbirth and menstrual pain by giving a warming, energetic balance to the cooling right (”lunar”) side of the brain, which rules the left side of the body.

Michelle Backus agrees; piercings affect your body beyond simple aesthetics.

Backus is the owner of the Ayurveda-based Alaya Yoga Spa in Louisville, and she does marma point massage. Marma points are similar to acupressure points, although they don’t directly overlap in location or size.

Initially, Backus says, “You get a euphoric rush when you get a tattoo or piercing at the physical level, and the mind and emotions are usually in a particular state before you get the work done, then afterward your mind and emotions have shifted.”

A tattoo on a marma point, such as the palm of the hand, or a piercing at a marma point, such as the “Nabhi Marma” (navel) serves a similar function as marma massage or acupuncture, Backus says.

But, she adds, the energy change is not long-term — positively or negatively. The energy of marmas will eventually redistribute around the piercing.

Unlike the deeper needling in Chinese acupuncture, Japanese acupuncture uses more superficial stimuli. And throughout history, people have tattooed their bodies on specific points to “re-regulate nerves,” according to Japanese acupuncturist Dann.

Europe’s oldest natural human mummy, found frozen in the Alps, sported 57 tattoo marks on his body on the acupuncture points for osteo-arthritis. An X-ray found he had arthritis, suggesting he had been tattooed for medical reasons.

“There’s enough history that shows certain types of piercings and tattoos have been used to enhance energy flows,” Dann says.

And in Africa, scarification — a sort of mix between tattoos and piercing — was believed to open up spiritual and physiological energies, Dann says. For example, scarification on the chest would open up the home of the spirit.

The ears are especially packed with acupuncture points.In fact, acupuncturists consider the ears a “microsystem,” with a point for everywhere on the body.

Note that ears look (sort of) like an upside-down fetus, with the lobe representing the head. Some representations of the Buddha depict him with massive earlobes, signifying wisdom. Throughout history, Buddhists have pierced the center of their earlobes to connect with their “third eye,” to enhance their inner vision, according to Jeffrey Dann, a Boulder-based acupuncturist and medical anthropologist.

This could have interesting implications for the growing number of Americans stretching their lobes with ear gauges. Based on these beliefs, could the plugs open or stretch the mind?

Others stories say lobe piercing came from pirates or sailors, who thought stimulating that area would improve eyesight and help them see land at far distances.

Then there is the tragus, the bump of cartilage in front of the ear canal — and the acupuncture point for metabolism. Local piercers report they regularly see people getting their tragus pieced to help with losing weight.

In fact, tragus piecing has turned into a business in and of itself: “ear stapling.” It’s been big in the South for years, and fans say it’s just now taking off in Colorado.

Annette Cutter, of Littleton, runs Ear Stapling of Colorado (www.earstaplingofcolorado.com), the only certified ear-stapling business in the state.

Cutter has been stapling ears for about a year. She uses an “acu-locator,” which reads energy levels, to locate the precise trigger point and inserts a surgical steel staple into each tragus. She says the $75 piercing sparks weight loss, appetite reduction, increased energy and better sleep 80 to 90 percent of the time. She says it also makes food taste different.

It worked for her, she claims. Cutter says she lost 20 pounds in 2½ months after her first staple.

Cutter is not an acupuncturist. And she says she doesn’t exactly understand why it works. But using acupuncture principles, she says, the changes that people feel are hard to deny.

The argument against

Unless, of course, you’re talking about the placebo effect. That’s how Tracy Akers explains the tragus-weight connection.

“If people think it will work, then it will,” says Akers, a piercer at Tribal Rites. “Sometimes it does simply because the person believes so.”

Josh Wood, also a piercer at Tribal Rites in Boulder, agrees. Wood has piercings, and he gets acupuncture.

“They are two completely separate things,” he says. “An acupuncture needle is more like a screw. They don’t jab it into you. They gently twist it into the skin, and it releases, well, whatever it does.”

He thinks piercings and tattoos are mainly aesthetic.

“We can pierce any part of the body, and when we hit the meridian points, nothing happens. You don’t get joy or excitement from the piercing,” Wood says.

He adds with a laugh, “I wish you got joy from tattoos.”

Take your belly-button ring out. That’s the first advice Amy Dickinson offers her patients with fertility problems. The navel intersects with what acupuncturists, like Dickinson, call the “conception vessel,” or the middle meridian up the body, which connects with the uterus.

“A belly ring impedes the flow of energy to the conception vessel, and could have an effect on fertility in some people,” she says.

Dickinson, of Boulder, is the vice president of the Acupuncture Association of Colorado. And she says she cannot imagine a positive reason to get a piercing.

“The entire body conducts electricity and has an innate wisdom about where the energy should flow,” she says.

In traditional Chinese acupuncture, most piercings are frowned upon, according to acupuncturist Dann. Piercings can interrupt the flow of energy, especially along the middle meridian, where the navel is located. A piecing in one of the energy lines can weaken an entire organ or system. Others believe that metal disturbs the energy flow.

This has created a conundrum for Kirsten Hamilton. The local woman has multiple piercings in her nose. She also has chronic sinus infections. Her acupuncturist says her metal is creating the problem. But she says she loves her rings, and does not want to take them out.

“Everyone’s energy is different and resonates with different types of metal, images and other types of jewelry,” Hamilton says. “Everyone is different. There are only good and bad places on a specific individual.”

Molly Plann, of Louisville, says she began having digestive problems after she pierced her nipples. She eventually removed the piercings because she got pregnant. Since then, her problems are gone, but she says she doesn’t know whether it was the pregnancy, the piercings or coincidence. Nipples are on the stomach meridian and can relate to digestion — although some acupuncturists say they would never needle a nipple.

So assuming there’s a connection, how can you know whether a piercing might help (such as Indian women and nostril piercings) or hurt (such as stories about fertility and the navel)?

“You can’t, really,” says acupuncturist Dann. “It could go either way: block or stimulate the point. You don’t know.”

Take a cleavage piercing, between the breasts. This is a “huge” acupuncture point, he says, “the master point of the upper body, for heart and lungs.”

He says he needles this point to help with anxiety, insomnia and panic attacks.

“If someone had a lot of those problems,” he says, “it’d sure be interesting to have it pierced and see what it does.”

Hmm. You don’t say?”

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November 10th, 2008

Ok. I guess I should probably tell you a little about myself. My name is Christy and I’m 29. I come from a very large family (6 sisters and 3 brothers). I have wonderful parents who have always given me everything I needed or wanted. I guess you could say I am spoiled but I know how hard they have worked to provide me and my siblings with the lives we have and I appreciate every single thing they do for me. I have been blessed with an extraordinarily loving and supportive family, from my parents and siblings to my grandparents and aunts and uncles.

We moved around a lot when I was growing up but I always made friends quickly and really loved my childhood. School came easy for me but I didn’t have the patience for classes so I spent most of high school at the mall, river, or partying with my friends. I only graduated due to an accelerated program that essentially allowed me to gain credits by testing out of the classes. I started my senior year with 6 credits and graduated with 21 and a half. That was 1/2 credit more than I needed. I have had anxiety and depression issues since I was a teenager. I can remember in high school feeling very empty and alone even though I was surrounded by tons of friends. I found that by getting high or drinking I didn’t feel that emptiness as much and I spent most of my teenage years in a haze. But, I must say that I had a lot of fun.

I moved out of my parents house at 18 and ended up getting pregnant shortly after. The pregnancy was ectopic and the experience sent me into my first downward spiral. I was so sad that I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. Most days I wouldn’t even get up to shower or brush my teeth. My friends called and called but I refused to answer. My mother finally got me to go back to the doctor who immediately started me on Celexa 40mg and I felt blissfully numb. I had no emotional response to anything. After about 6 months I stopped the medication and managed to maintain for a long time with no major episodes.

Fast forward about ten years. I was doing pretty good. I had a great job, great friends, cute condo, cute convertible, and very little stress. I had sworn off relationships due to a couple very bad experiences. I ended up in a car accident that led me to a bar where I met D. He talked to me all night and I ended up hanging out at his place after the bar where we talked till dawn and he woke me up with coffee and brunch. We have been together every day since. Our relationship moved very quickly; we went from complete strangers to living together almost immediately. I fell in love with him in a matter of weeks and knew he was the one I wanted to spend my life with. Our relationship was passionate (AKA tumultuous). We loved each other immensely but we fought hard and often. More often than not we were vicious and unfair in the things we said when we got heated. I begged him time and again to stop drinking so much and he asked me just as often to get help for my mood swings.

Almost a year and half, and quite a lot of drama, later he tells me we don’t fit and we shouldn’t be together (although we are still living together but I will get into that with another post).  Overnight I had gone from planning on marrying and having children with the love of my life to all of that being gone. I was devastated; all I could do was cry. I went back on Celexa (although only 20mg) and started taking Atavan to help with my increasing panic attacks. In the midst of this I was going through some pretty serious medical problems and my family suffered a major crisis. I ended up missing work or having to leave early because there was just too much happening and I couldn’t keep it together. It all came to a head when I had had a complete breakdown at work and was sent home by my supervisor, who told me to get in to see someone or she was taking me to the crisis center when she got off work. I saw a therapist that day and was put on medical leave from my job. My work ended up denying the leave and terminating me. Now I am taking my meds, going to therapy, and trying to fill a lot of free time.

So, that basically brings us up to date. I tried finding more information about what was happening to me online and was pretty disappointed with what I was able to find so I decided to put something together myself. The site was progressing nicely until I decided to change it around and all of my content was lost, so we are back at square one. I really hope that this site evolves into a support group where people find a sort of haven to talk and find answers to whatever questions they may have. I will try to update this site and add information frequently. Please comment on anything I post from my blogs to the articles and such. And definitely check out the forum.

Hope to talk to you soon.

Christy

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November 5th, 2008

Webster’s defines panic as follows…

“1. An overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety.

2. Sudden mass fear and anxiety over anticipated events; “panic in the stock market”; “a war scare”.”

Anxiety is defined as…

“1. A relatively permanent state of anxiety occurring in a variety of mental disorders.

2. A vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some (usually ill-defined) misfortune.”

And lastly, they define panic attack as…

“1. A sudden attack of fear.”

Wikipedia gets it a little closer with this…

“A panic attack is a period of intense fear or discomfort, typically with an abrupt onset and usually lasting no more than 30 minutes. Symptoms include trembling, shortness of breath and sensations of choking or smothering.”

I personally suffer from Panic Disorder as well as Major Depression (We’ll get into that one next time) and know fully what anxiety is. The best way I can think of to describe it is this. You know that feeling when you know something bad is about to happen? I have that feeling all the time. I am always jumpy and on edge, my stomach is always in a knot, and sometimes I even get nauseous. My neck and shoulders bother me from always being so tense. When something minor goes wrong or even something out of the ordinary happens my mind begins to swirl. Suddenly, in my mind, the fact that D (my ex that lives with me; we’ll get into that later too) doesn’t come home on time means something is wrong, Should I call him to see if he’s ok?, No, it’s not my place to keep tabs on him anymore, What if I call and he doesn’t answer because he’s with some other girl?, But what if he needs help?, He might have got a DUI and be sitting in jail, Oh my God! If he was drinking he could have had an accident, Maybe he won’t be able to answer, Should I call the police or the hospitals?. I know it’s irrational but all this flies through my head in a second or two. Before I know it I am in a state of panic. My heart begins to race, my chest feels tight, my stomach is knotted so tight that I feel as though I am about to vomit, my hands begin to clench and my arms and legs go tingly, I have tunnel vision. Now the pain in my chest is so bad that I feel like my heart might burst, I’m gasping but can’t seem to get any oxygen. And this can go on for quite a while. It usually ends with me exhausted and crying. I have smaller anxiety attacks, quite frequently, if there are too many people around but the one I just described is a full fledged panic attack. The sad part is that I recognize that this makes no sense but in that moment I can’t get my mind or my body to believe it. All of those thoughts flying through my head are reality and it’s hard for me to take a step back and say “Calm down, you’re overreacting”. So unless you’ve actually experienced it I don’t think you can fully understand what it is. You certainly can’t understand what causes it because even those of us who suffer from these attacks can’t. I guess what I was getting at is that panic attacks don’t just feel like fear, as Webster’s has it defined, but they feel like your mind and body have simultaneously turned against you.

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